I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
