I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
