Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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