my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
