it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
