So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
