I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
