is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
