Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
