Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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