I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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