my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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