also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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