I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
