he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it's like iHOP with fire
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
