is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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