Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
