think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
