So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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