First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
