I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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