And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
