he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
