So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
