your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
