Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
