is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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