She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
