Im at strip club and am horny
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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