So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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