I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
