shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
