Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
