But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
