so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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