What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
as a side note pls kill me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
