cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
