he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
