even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I want a musical about memes.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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