I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have feelings that need drinking.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
