Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
