She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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