Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
