I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
