I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
