Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ambien. No doubt about it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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