Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
