i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
