You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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