I should be sponsored by Trojan
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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