Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
